You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Randomize
