how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
no you cant smoke seaweed
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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