BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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