I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
