come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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