You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize
