We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
