You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
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I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
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