low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
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