i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
