She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Randomize
