i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Randomize
