Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
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Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
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When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
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