tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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