So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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