I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
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