I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
