90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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