I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Randomize
