why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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