He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
The power of my boobs compel you
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Randomize
