well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Randomize
