Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
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