McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
