Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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