OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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