....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Is it because I queefed?
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize
