Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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