What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
It's never too late to be topless.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Randomize
