god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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