reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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