i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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