So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
My vagina is very pro this idea
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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