He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
