trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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