if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Randomize
