he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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