I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Randomize
