I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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