I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
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