Sry I called you an 8
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Randomize