I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Randomize
