Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Found the puke drawer
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
