he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Randomize
