Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
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