He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
