you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
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