I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Randomize
