you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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