Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Randomize
