my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Randomize