You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
