I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
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