You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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