the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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