i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
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