the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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