I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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