i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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