Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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