yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
