dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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