Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
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