i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
