i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
The power of my boobs compel you
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
